things my daughter has said, pt. 2

“I bet the aliens would let me have cookies.”
“I’m using the Ouija board to make more friends.”
“This is the worst day ever and there haven’t even been that many days.”
“I hate updates. No one wants them.”
“Sometimes I look in the mirror and get sad because I’m taller in my head.”
“Don’t touch that. I definitely haven’t eaten enough.”
“Just imagine a nipple with a big ball of skin. That’s all it is!”
“I’m only interested in fake marriages.”
“It’s ruined now. I can’t even look at it.”
“Frozen was a plot to make people like snow.”
“Does anyone actually like being cold? I don’t think so.”
“I don’t believe in it and if I don’t believe in it, I don’t have to do it.”
“That’s the law? Well, that’s stupid.”
“I’m revolting. Is that the one that means ‘not doing it’ or does that mean ‘gross’?”
“Words should only mean one thing.”
“I’m gross but I’m not doing it.”
“It would be really nice if the world would stop.”
“Songs sound a lot better when I can’t understand what they’re saying.”
“I want a job where I can use fake blood and play video games.”
“Do you know why animals are better? Because they don’t talk.”
“I can’t be mean and say ‘shut up’ but please don’t make any more noise.”
“If everything would stop for a bit, that’d be great.”
“I thought I was too old for naps but I was very wrong.”